Clue: A narcissist will spin around anything you say and make it about them! They will make your head hurt!
Talking with a narcissist can mess up with your mind! They can be charming and charismatic but they can switch in a second. Especially when they think you need their attention. Asking them for what you need will make you feel like you are doing something wrong. You will regret you ever asked. Until one day you figure out what is going on: it's not you. You are dealing with a narcissist!
Protect yourself, see if you can spot a narcissistic behavior:
QUIZ
It is yes or no?
Instructions: The other person may be your coworker, your boss, or a friend or family or significant other.
Do you often feel invisible in the relationship, as if your thoughts and feelings are always less important than theirs?
(Yes/No)
Have you noticed that, when you feel emotional and open up to speak from your heart the other person minimizes your emotions or acts as if you are being “too dramatic”?
(Yes/No)
Do you find that they easily blame everyone else and deny any responsibility? They have elaborate excuses. It's other people's fault. They don't know anything. They are always innocent.
(Yes/No)
Does the other person act as if they are better than others, expecting special treatment and admiration otherwise they pout or retaliate?
(Yes/No)
Do you avoid addressing a negative behavior because the other person will explode, walk out, or punish you in some way?
(Yes/No)
Do you ever feel that you work hard to fix everything but the other person is never pleased and nothing you do is good enough?
(Yes/No)
When you open up about your pain do they tell you that it's not a big deal and you should "get over it"?
(Yes/No)
When you try to express a different opinion do, they take it personally, react as if you are hurting them and become defensive, mean, or walk away?
(Yes/No)
Does it feel like the relationship centers around the other person's needs leaving you feeling that the more you try to get close the more insecure, and lonely you feel?
(Yes/No)
Do you often feel hyper vigilant as though you’re constantly “walking on eggshells” and you bend over backwards to avoid upsetting the other person?
(Yes/No)
Phew! You are done. Great job!
ANSWERS
Now count your responses. How many YES answers?
0-3 YESes
There is hope.
If you have 3 or fewer “Yes” responses, there is hope! Take a closer look at your relationship because it is suffering from miscommunication. Make sure you identify the most recent problem. Present it in a calm, and assertive way. Use your very best communication skills!
3-7 YESes
Stop walking on eggshells.
If you have more than 3 positive responses you are walking on eggshells and you are getting burnt out. It is time to seek support on figuring out how to change what is happening. The narcissist may be someone at work, or a friend or a family member. You need neutral perspective to figure out what to do. Talk to a therapist.
7 - 10 YESes
If 7 or more “Yes” responses resonate, you have been hurting for a long time. There is help. Contact your therapist. You need to understand your blind spots and learn skills that will empower you. Your therapist will help you develop the skills you need to get back control of your life.